


A Gift of Love

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: I Take Pride in What I Am 2020 [2]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Choices, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Home, Love, M/M, Promises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24510781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Gray had given him many things, the most precious of which now hung around Jellal's neck. The necklace a promise, not just to wait, but that he had a home. A place where he could and would always belong. A gift as priceless as the one he now wore around his neck and his fingers trembled as he lifted the pendant to his lips now and pressed a kiss to it.With Tartaros on the move, it's not Magnolia that Jellal is going back to, but Gray with the promises ringing in his heart.
Relationships: Jellal Fernandes/Gray Fullbuster
Series: I Take Pride in What I Am 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1771147
Kudos: 15
Collections: I Take Pride in What I Am 2020





	A Gift of Love

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that if you want to talk to me about my fics and writing, or anime/shows/games in general then you can now find me on discord [The Unholy Trinity](https://discord.gg/6sSddAWa5c).

_Gray…_

Jellal knew that he should be focused on the situation, on the fact that Tartarus had struck so hard and fast, leaving chaos across Fiore. That Zeref – and his skin prickled as it always did at the thought of the dark mage, an echo of the voice that had twisted everything when he was a child rising in the back of his mind. _You could still help, still serve, still, bring him back._ Would he ever be free of that voice? That desire? He could hold it at bay now, bury it beneath his guilt, his sorrow, the burden of trying to fix things, but he couldn’t banish it altogether. At this point, he wasn’t sure that he would ever be able to silence it completely, not that he believed he deserved to, even if that was what he was working towards. Even when Gray had held him the last time they’d seen each other, and whispered that he wasn’t that person anymore, that the two of them, and what they had was proof of that, he hadn’t been able to believe that.

That took his thoughts back to the start. _Gray._ Fairy Tail was in the centre of the chaos, he had only heard whispers of that, but he knew it, with the same certainty that he knew he wasn’t ready to be forgiven – Fairy Tail was involved. Which meant that Gray, his Gray was going to be right in the middle of it, and if the Ice Mage’s luck held true to form, that wasn’t a good thing.

_And I’m not there, again…_

He sighed, turning his gaze up to the sky for all that he couldn’t see it through the cloth covering his eyes. Still, he could imagine it, clear, barely a cloud in sight if the warmth on his upturned face was anything to go. No match for the storm in his thoughts, and his heart. He could feel the others watching him, knowing that they were waiting on him to make a decision. It was his duty, his responsibility, after all, he had been the one to reach out to them, to offer them a path forward, and yet his thoughts strayed back to Gray once more. One hand pressed to his chest, fingers toying with the necklace he wore, playing with the amulet that rested directly over his heart, fingers tracing the familiar cross shape.

_“You’re leaving again.” It wasn’t a question. Gray voicing the decision almost as soon as Jellal had convinced himself that he couldn’t stay here. That this precious, stolen time with Gray, hidden from the world, from the past, and wrapped in his partner’s arms was coming to an end. He couldn’t answer, couldn’t even bring himself to look at Gray, afraid of the hurt he would see in the dark eyes._

_There was a pause, and then the bed dipped behind him, Gray crawling across to him. “Gray…” He wasn’t sure that he could handle being held close now, not when he was walking away again. Chasing something that Gray couldn’t give him, a weigh that rested between them even in these quiet moments. Fingers brushed his shoulders, gentle, soothing, as though Gray could hear the words he couldn’t say, and maybe he could because the Ice Mage always seemed to know what he was thinking even before he did. Gray had laughed at him the one time he’d mentioned it, saying that it came from growing up around people who were better at showing their thoughts and feelings through actions rather than words, leaving him to learn how to read bodies and expressions over what was said. Lips followed the path of his fingers, warmth melting the threatening frost that had crept from Gray’s fingers, working inwards, until Gray paused, lingering with his lips soft and warm against the back of Jellal’s neck. “You’ll come back?”_

_For the first time, there was a hint of uncertainty in those words, that quiet plea breathed against his skin, goosebumps forming across his skin. Yes. No… Jellal really didn’t know the answer. He wanted to come back. Hell, he didn’t want to leave in the first place, not really, not when Gray was here. An anchor, a shield against the guilt and past that wasn’t ready to release him. Seeing him for what he was and who he could be and loving him all the same._

_Loving him…_

_“I will,” he whispered, the words creeping out. A promise they both knew he couldn’t really make, not with what he was searching for. Who he wanted to face. The words hanging heavily between them, Jellal barely breathing as he waited for Gray’s response, and the Ice Mage unmoving, still pressed behind him, lips lingering and then he was gone, pulling away, leaning back. Hurt blossomed, even though Jellal knew he deserved that and more, and he flinched as he heard metal jangling behind him before something was being slipped over his head. A burst of cold against his chest, as it slipped into place against his neck and he looked down, breath catching and eyes widening as he took in the familiar necklace and pendant resting against his chest. Rising and falling, with the sudden rapid rise and fall of his chest, as he reached up, trembling fingers brushing against the cross, still chilled from its time against Gray’s skin. “Gray,” he started to wrap his fingers around it, before aborting the movement and instead moving as though to remove it. “I can’t.”_

_He couldn’t remember a single time outside their bed, that he hadn’t seen the Ice Mage wearing it, and while he didn’t know the full story behind it, he knew that it meant a lot to Gray. Too much to be entrusted to someone like him, and he had just got hold of it, when Gray reached around him, resting his head on Jellal’s shoulders, hands firm and steady as they settled over his, both of them holding the cross. “It’s a gift,” Gray whispered, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck and then his ear. “A reminder that I’m with you, and that I’m here waiting for you when you’re ready to come home.”_

Jellal had argued with him most of the day about it until it was time to leave, and Gray had been stubbornly unmoving. Insistent in a way that he had never been about anything else in their relationship, and now that he thought about it, there had been something in Gray’s eyes that day that he hadn’t seen before. Fear. Fear that he might not come back, not because something had happened – they had both long since accepted that there was always going to be a possibility of that, just as there was a risk every time Gray took a job, especially given his usual look. But, because he might choose not to, as though Gray had seen his doubts and fears, the worries that he was going to drag the Ice Mage down with him that he had kept carefully hidden.

_A reminder that I’m with you…_

His fingers curled tighter around the cross. There was truth in those words, because even after all this time the pendant held an unnatural chill, as though Gray’s magic was still curled around it. There had been some nights when he had curled around it and closed his eyes, imagining that the cold had spread, wrapping itself around him, as though the Ice Mage was wrapped around him.

_I’m here waiting for you when you’re ready to come home…_

There had been a promise in those words. No time limit, as though Gray knew that it could be longer than ever before they were together again. Jellal had heard it, had wanted to tell him that he didn’t need to make that promise, that he could move on if he took too long, that he should live his life. He hadn’t been able to say the words, even as part of him, had wondered if he would ever be able to go back again. Selfishly he had remained quiet, soaking up the promise, not just to wait, but that he had a home. A place where he could and would always belong. A gift as priceless as the one he now wore around his neck and his fingers trembled as he lifted the pendant to his lips now and pressed a kiss to it.

If he was honest with himself, he wasn’t ready to go back, not really. Nothing had changed, he still hadn’t made amends or done enough to earn himself the absolution that Gray seemed so determined to give him. Yet, at the same time, the urge to go back. No, to go home, had been growing each day, an ache, like the one spreading through his fingers from the cold metal. _Gray._ He missed him, and that wasn’t an ache, but a sharp pain that swelled each day, until like now, all he could think about was the Ice Mage. Those dark eyes watching him, pleading with him to come back, and as he let the pendant fall, the cross falling over his heart once more, he knew just like back then, his decision had already been made and not just by the current situation and the fact that Gray might even now be in peril. But because he wanted to go back. He needed to, if only to prove to himself – to both of them – that he could and would return, regardless of what else he achieved in this seemingly endless search of his.

“We’re going to Magnolia,” he announced quietly, trying not to sound too eager, turning towards them. There was plenty of reason to go there, and he could hear their relief as they rallied, readying themselves to move, glad to have a path, a purpose. Even if it was a little different to his. Meredy appeared at his side, her hand slipping into his, ready to guide him forward, although he knew that he could have found his way back to Gray blindfolded.

“He will be glad to see you,” she pressed against his arm, leaning in, even though they both knew it wouldn’t be enough to stop Cobra hearing, and his breath caught for a moment. She knew, but then she was squeezing his hand and leaning away, and he realised he had all but heard the smile in her voice. She knew and approved and as he let her guide him forward, he forgot that the Dragon-slayer might have heard and let his free hand creep back up to the pendant, realising that it felt a little warmer now. As though it too knew where he was going, and why, and approved and he gripped it tight and tilted his head to the sky.

_I’m coming home Gray, wait for me…_


End file.
